Sunday, October 21, 2012

Rising from the Ashes

This used to be a mom blog. I don't know what it is now.

I started blogging here in 2007 when I was married lady with a one-year old son. I shut it down in January 2011, when I realized how naive I'd been - not fully cognizant of just how broadly public anything on the internet really is. All earlier posts are suspended for now.

I had a good run here. Over 850 posts with 4500-something comments on those old posts. I was in a new city, in a marriage that was rough at its best and I was desperately lonely. This blog and the connections I made here helped me feel like I was a part of something. I still have some friends I made here from that time - but now we chat on Facebook. I've missed blogging, but with learning how to be a single mom and starting a new business I just couldn't keep up with it - and somewhere along the line I realized that my blog needed a lot of clean up.This had always been a place just to communicate, tell stories, share my life and thoughts, but as my marriage fell apart and the divorce process commenced, it had also become a place to kvetch. I didn't want to be a person who had an unfortunate story to tell. I didn't want complaints to be the mark I left on the world. I did that for a while, but it isn't who I am.

There was also a lot of funny, crafty, interesting and occasionally bizarre crap posted here. It's a shame to throw out the baby with the bathwater, but I'll bring back some of those as I have a chance to go through them.
I have changed so very much in the past few years. I have grown up, lost some shackles and blossomed. I have shed a lot of so-called problems and a few so-called friends. I have learned where to be forgiving and where to draw the line. I found my integrity. I've lost a lot of weight, started running, learned a lot about other people and gotten know myself a whole lot better. I quit the business I started and then started a job I love. I've put together a whole new life with my sweet little boy, who I'm ever-thankful for.

And here I am. Hoping I haven't undone all those friendships I created back then by dropping off the face of the earth - or at least that I can rebuild them, make new ones here. It's time to write for myself again. It has always been my favorite thing to do. I'll make the time, somehow.

People who are the busiest people I've ever known now tell me that I'm busier than they are, and in a way that is probably very twisted, that makes me proud. I beat the crap out of every single day I live now. I'm making life into what I need it to be for myself and my son. Each day is fast and full.

When I have down time it is well-earned and it is far more enjoyable than ever before. I have a wonderful kid who I adore. I wake up every day excited to talk with him and he makes me laugh like nobody else (see Shit My Kid Says!). I have great friends, an amazing support system in place. I have help. I give back as much as I possibly can because that is where the fun is. I'm happy again. Not content - but happy in the overcoming of every day's obstacles, in making progress toward better things.  I think I'm happier this way than I ever was before.

It's time to create what I have really always wanted.  I'll be around here along the way, sharing pieces of my life and hoping to inspire and be inspired.

Fastening my seat belt. Come along for the ride.
 

6 comments:

Veronica Blade said...

Excellent! So long as we can keep you on facebook, blog away!

Carl L. Hager said...

Welcome (back) to the Blogosphere V. 2012, a cold, heartless void full of chattering monkeys, lifelong friends, dramatic mutes, quiet orators, strawberry fields... no wait, that's something else. It's whatever you make it.

As for the inevitable comments people will post, the heart-swelling praise and sundering rebukes, remember the words of that great logician, Bob Dylan:

"Half of the people can be part right all of the time,
some of the people can be all right part of the time,
but all of the people can’t be all right all of the time.
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
'I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours.'
I said that."

Little Girl::Big Glasses said...

Have missed you. I love "happy but not content." Not sure if content is a good thing, really, right? You love amazing and I can't wait to hear more from you! xoxo, LGBG

Robbie Coleman said...

Your brief description of personal growth and discovery is inspiring and I'm so glad your are thriving again.

peace,
-- robbie

Mr.Pete. said...

Welcome back!

~moe~ said...

I have been thinking about your resurrection a lot lately. I have been wanting to do the same thing with my blog for awhile, yet I can't seem to find the right time to do it. You give me hope and inspiration. Soon. Soon, Moe will rise again as well. :)