Thursday, November 19, 2009

Naked People

I was looking for something for an art project (I swear) when I came across this website. Germans are interesting! I just looked at allll the naked people. You have to click on them for their clothes to come off and then click on the white for them to come back on. It isn't sexual at all, just interesting, all the different naked bodies. Pretty cool! Haley said, "Other people's naked bodies look weird when the only one you're used to seeing is your own."

http://www.naked-people.de

Nice to see naked people who are just people and not body builders and who are not airbrushed into perfection.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Dishes

Kat: Haley, can you get on those dishes, please?

Haley: I don't want to do dishes.

Kat: I know... but like I said, can you get on those dishes, please?

Haley: No. I hate doing dishes.

Kat: I know. So do I. And when I was your age, my mom made me do the dishes, too. At least we have a dishwasher - we didn't have one of those when I was a kid.

Haley: But I hate doing dishes.

Kat: I hear you, but tell me this - If you were the mom here, and I was the teenager, would you make me do the dishes?

Haley: (one second pause)

Yes.

(two second pause)

Fine. I'll do the dishes.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Philosophy on the 5 Freeway

Driving my kid to school this morning on I-5, I noticed something. I drive to get to where I'm going as quickly as possible - in this city which is so spread out, everything is too far away, there is too much traffic, and I always want to spend less time in the car. I get the distinct impression, though, that lots of other people have a different goal. Their goal is to get there faster than everybody else. It's like the Freeway is a big racetrack which gets clogged up, making people crazy frustrated. When you're sitting still, you're losing the race!

I was driving along pondering this when I realized that there was nobody in front of me, and I was going a fraction under the speed limit. I sped up. The car to the left of me sped up, keeping his front bumper lined up with the middle of my van. I went a little faster--with no intention of merging left, just to see what that car would do. He sped up again. The driver just didn't want to chance my getting in front of him--he'd be losing the race by one more car length!

It makes me laugh. People will often ignore a turn signal unless you barge in and make it impossible for them to ignore you. I don't mean to generalize and say that all - or even most drivers in LA are freaks, but I do come across them on a daily basis...and I have to admit, I catch myself paying it forward sometimes. It's a contagious freakism.

I'd think it was the minivan, but this has been going on for years... through a Honda sedan, a Nissan 240, and an SUV. People were looking out for number one on the highways and byways of this city long before I ever got this van. I want a bumper sticker that says, "Warning - This minivan driven by a speed-loving bitch with great insurance. I will fuck your shit up." Or maybe simply, "My minivan could crush your Prius." Or "Soccer Mom With Road Rage." Now I'm LOLing at myself.

Every time I leave LA, it takes me a few days to re-acclimate when I come back. I have to drive as though I'm driving to win a race. Playing the same game is the only way I can avoid getting really irritated at other drivers. These are mostly the nicest people on foot, too.

Maybe I should get a bumper sticker made that says, "Nobody else has to lose in order for you to win." That's a little more my style. I wonder if anybody would get it?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Weekly Winners - We Seem to Have Inherited a Dog.

Meet Lady, the world's laziest Australian Shepherd.


She is not, in fact, dead.


Just really, really tired.

Colin has been asking for a dog for two years, so he's pretty happy she's here. I think he'd like it more if she'd run around and get crazy with him. She seems exhausted - maybe later. It's a trial weekend, but I'm hoping she'll stay. We do have a cat-- one who hates dogs with a seething passion. But the dog could not care less about our cat, which is making it really hard for the cat to be bothered. They might work out just fine. So far, they share a favorite hobby - sleeping like the dead.

To see some beautiful photos from the lives of bloggers all over the world, check out Sarcastic Mom's Weekly Winners.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Homeschool Rocks!

I'm loving doing Home school with Haley. She gets to travel, be at home with her parents or be here with us and never miss a day of school. I get to learn stuff and help her learn stuff and she gets to graduate early and get on with her life. Awesome.

I really did want to home school Colin. My husband and I agreed - a public school education is not what we wanted for our kids, for many reasons. One reason being that I believe home schooling can provide a far superior education, lead by the interest of the child and tapping their willingness to learn, rather than being in a forced educational situation. You know - the way most of us went through school. Shut up, sit there, do as you're told. Both my husband and I were high IQ kids who hated regular school with a passion but excelled in the arts, when put into advanced programs or in situations where we could work at our own pace.

By the time I graduated from public High School in California, the place had been modified to include a 12 foot iron fence around the entire campus, metal detectors at the entrances and an armed security guard. It was sort of like graduating from a prison. So it was home school or private school for our family, unless we just couldn't afford private school or for one of us to stay home. Colin has turned out - so far - to be a kid who does the crazy dance if he doesn't get to hang out with other little kids all day, so yay, we're paying for a private kindergarten so that our kid spends his time away from home in an environment that is in pretty close agreement with the way we want our kid to be handled, taught and corrected-- with lots of care and attention to Colin as his very own person, with very individual needs. That crap costs money, though.

I'd still like to home school him, when he's a bit older and doesn't require almost constant running around, building stuff, moving stuff, swinging, sliding, swimming, jumping, and chasing. He's learning a whole lot in between all that at school, and I'm pretty happy with it. He's proud of his work and what he's learning. Today, out of the blue, while sitting on the toilet he told me, "Mom - A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y!" Hooray, vowels! I swear, peer pressure is the only thing that entices him to sit still, ever. The day may never come when he'll want to sit down at home for more than 10 minutes at a time, but hey, if it does I'm ready.

Haley has been the model home school kid, though. She was going to a private school for the last few years, but not doing very well, moving at a snail's pace. Her mom yanked her out and sent her to home school with some friends for a while, and she finished more than a grade in a brief time. Smart little shit that she is. Turns out that less social distraction was exactly what she needed. She's not anti-social by any means. Today at the supermarket, she decided that for her research project of the day she was going to walk around and talk to strangers, asking them what they liked about school. And then she did it, while I watched in awe.

This summer, she started a new home school curriculum, where she can get school credit for lots of the things she already does - babysitting, volunteering, crafting, her Etsy shop, religious studies, etc. She can get her basic education in while studying things she's interested in. The speed she goes through grade levels depends entirely on how hard she works and she can possibly graduate by the time she's 16, fully prepared to be productive in the field of her interest. I wish I'd had this option when I was biding my time through high school, picking the lint out of my bellybutton and waiting for the bell to ring.

She's been here, working away on her schooling for a couple of months now and it is awesome having her. So nice to have the company while I slave away at this here computer. And frankly, having to stop and help with researching things and going to the library and finding definitions and keeping her on schedule... is a welcome distraction.


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Halloween Sneak Preview

Halloween is a kind of a big deal around our place. I've had a blast making most of the decorations this year, copying ideas from magazines and making my own for far less money. I'm not into the ghastly, bloody stuff. There will be about 30 kids here next Friday night, and I don't intend to give them nightmares, so it's all in the spirit of lighthearted, spooky fun.







So thrilled with the wreath I just made. $6 feather boa and $2 wire wreath frame from JoAnn Fabrics, plus $2 for black pipe cleaners from Michael's to hold it all together. When I get the rest of the Halloween boxes out tomorrow I might add a black bird or rat.


I love it so.

I may post more pics of the decorations as they go up, and will definitely post pictures from the party next weekend.

Since I'm using this post as my Weekly Winners, here's the link to see lots of groovy photos:
Sarcastic Mom.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Incogneato

I cant' resist free... or fun. Add "fabulous" to the recipe and I'm head over heels.


Which is exactly how I feel about my new mustache from Kara at How Fab is That.
She's got this Fun Project going on, and she makes things like this and this and this.
She is ridiculously fabulous.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

We Have Standards

Dear Kat,

I have and important question for you. At your Halloween party, are you planning on having candy corn?

That is all. Good day.

-Crystal

~~~~

Dear Crystal,

The official Halloween party Commission has come to the conclusion that candy corn is a vital part of any decent Halloween celebration. In fact, we believe it is so important that we have planned to fill small black goody-bags with a coma-inducing quantity of the orange and white treats. I will make sure that you receive one. Thank you for your inquiry and your attention to the integrity of the upcoming soiree.

Best,

Kat
Master of Ceremonies and Queen Supervisor of All Things Halloween at My House


Sunday, October 18, 2009

I Bite.



The very expensive custom vampire fangs were sold out, so I bought a cheap pair that fit over your teeth but they didn't fit at all. Then I ordered the molding plastic and instructions from the very expensive place and custom fit the cheap fangs into my mouth. Voila! They clamp over my teeth and fit snugly on the plastic sort of retainer thingy I made. I can bite people (tested it out on my husband), talk, and drink through a straw. No way I'm going to be able to eat at my own Halloween party, but oh well. Lots of people are coming over. Plenty of flesh around if I get hungry.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I So Much Love You

Today's 4am conversation in bed was a little sweeter.

There was tossing and turning going on with the small person. I reached out a hand to settle him, which sometimes works, but today it woke him all the way up.

"Are you having a dream, honey?"

He sat up. "Yes. Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I dream....I so much love you...and I saved you inna boat."

"You did? Thanks."

"Yeah, and I fixed you. I so much love you, mom."

"I so much love you, too. Go back to sleep, kay?"

"Okay."